The nausea lingers. Makes it hard to get sleep when both pain and nausea are conspiring against your body. Ramon has been up as well. Neither one of us get much rest lately. He, because of all that he has to contend with in order to keep our family from falling apart. And I, because of my physical struggles. He made me ginger tea which staves off the nausea.
I wish I could say that I am feeling stronger but my body has clearly deteriorated and trying to nourish it has become an unpleasant chore. There's not much my stomach would tolerate. My muscles have whittled away to nothing. I saw my legs in the mirror and I was immediately struck by how I resembled victims from the Holocaust. The starkness of this mental image is horrifying and inescapable. Ironically, my face is rounded and swollen from the steroids I've been taking. My left arm is also retaining hard and fast to the edema. I cannot imagine a bleaker picture.
I am trying really hard to recollect images of a healthy me. I hope to someday go hiking, or running, or biking again. Today, I would settle for being able to go to the bathroom without feeling like my legs would buckle underneath me.
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